Feeling Sad? Try this.

I always think of forgiveness as a journey because it's not one-and-done. It's not like you snap your fingers, and BOOM, I've decided that I forgive you. Or BOOM, I'm over it, and I forgive myself. It doesn't work like that.

Sometimes it's not necessarily something that needs forgiving, but you have some emotions that need to be worked through. Sometimes you think that you have done the work mentally and that you've gotten past it, you believe you are over it (and you kind of are), and then BOOM, it's back.

I do a lot of mental and emotional work on myself. As many of you know, if you read my blog or are part of my Married & Manifesting Facebook group, you know I'm all about having a conversation with myself and dealing with issues on the inside before I ever approach my husband about it. Sometimes times that's not even necessary.

Sometimes it's a "me thing," and I need to deal with it. I am really experienced and well-versed in dealing with issues and releasing them.

Sometimes though, when I get really habitual about dealing with stuff and working through my own thought processes on things, I get to a place where my brain starts throwing everything at me that it possibly can to stop me from making progress. That happened this morning.

In reality, it started yesterday, and I began to have these wild, crazy thoughts. Sometimes it was random images of people that I didn't even know. I know this may make me sound "crazy." Sometimes it will be events that happened in the past, thinking of mistakes I made when we weren't getting along, thoughts of worry for the future, or worrying about things that I have no control over.

Sometimes I find these thoughts coming at me and making me feel like I'm completely out of control, in some ways, with my own thoughts. I can't turn it off. Have you ever felt this way?

I think the reason I'm telling this story is to validate those of you who have ever had this happen. I am here to tell you that you are not alone. It happened this morning, and it was really, really strong.

It's annoying, it's frustrating, it's painful, and a little bit scary. It comes out of nowhere - something will trigger me, and I become so fearful temporarily that I can't think straight. I cannot think straight about anything that I know. I know to use the emotional release tools techniques that I have discussed here, but my brain does not have access to the tools at that moment. So I literally just hold my face and cry. Eventually, it does pass, but I had an incredibly rough time this morning.

I went outside to let it out. I was sitting in a chair crying, not knowing that my puppy Luisa (my sidekick) was on the other side of the door, confused as to why she wasn't invited out with me. My husband saw her and became curious too.

He opened the door to find me crying and asked if I was okay. I told him yes and that some old stuff had resurfaced out of nowhere, and I was processing it. He went and got me tissues and asked if I wanted to sit on the couch instead. So we went and sat on the couch. I really appreciated the empathy he gave me because sometimes people struggle with that. We just sat there together, and Luisa jumped into my lap because she's a magical creature that knows when I'm upset and when I need her. She jumped into my lap and laid there. We were both petting her, and he had his hand on my leg. Neither one of us said a word. That's what I needed in that moment.

My default habit is often when an incredibly strong emotion comes up, I want to push it away. I started to push it away by getting ready to go to the gym. The real "breakdown" happened when I was putting on my sneakers outside. I thought to myself, "alright, I'm not going to the gym yet. I can't. I have to process this. I cannot ignore this.” So I just sat with it. Sitting with that discomfort is unsettling and vulnerable.

Being in a vulnerable place with my husband is not the easiest task for either of us. But all of that made it easier for it to pass. I allowed it to pass through. It's hard to just sit there with it.

There will always be a part of you that feels like, "oh my god, if I acknowledge this thought and these feelings, that's going to make them happen, or I'm going to have to recognize the way I'm feeling.”

Your thought may even continue to "that means I'm a terrible person because I'm not looking on the bright side right now."

While there is definitely value to looking on the bright side, there is also a shit-ton of value in allowing the not-so-great stuff to the surface.

When it does, instead of pushing it away or trying to get away from it, simply allow it. I've heard it being likened to a distraught and scared child. You wouldn't run away from that child, would you? You wouldn't scold the child for being scared, would you? No, you would try to comfort them, and you would try to make them feel better.

You can almost think of it as your own inner child being upset. That's kind of what I did. I thought of that after - that is what I did. I sat with it and allowed it to be there. I acknowledged it. Then all of a sudden, it was as if someone flipped on the switch in my brain again, and those thoughts that had seemed so awful and crashing went away.

My brain came back and was aid, "Oh, well, that's not really very rational, and that's not something that's going to happen in this reality."

Healing definitely starts with forgiveness. If something keeps coming up, the forgiveness could be more for you. Or the forgiveness could be more that you need to sit with the emotion and allow it to be with you.

It reminds me of the movie, Inside Out, when Sadness is shunned or not shown, constantly being pushed away by the other emotions, until they finally realize how important she is and how important it is to allow someone to sit in their sadness for a little while.

That does not mean stay there and be there forever, but allow yourself to feel any emotion before you move on because it is necessary so that nothing gets stuck.

I believe that if you have something, an emotion that you're stuck on, it will manifest itself as a physical issue eventually if you don't deal with it. So that's the kick in the pants to be like, Okay, if I have this thing that I that I'm struggling with, I really need to deal with it, or it's going get worse and worse and worse.

There's a saying that we're given the same test over and over again until we pass. So if there's something that's coming up multiple times, it might need to be dealt with differently to clear it out and remove it.

Does this blog entry resonate with you? Would you like to continue the conversation? Join Married & Manifesting Facebook Group where we talk about it all. It’s a private Facebook Group where we learn and grow together and serve as each other’s sounding board when things happen. It’s fun, it’s safe, and IT’S FREE. Hope to see you there.