How to Use Visualization as a Tool to Get You Want

If you had a magic wand and could fix one thing in your marriage what would it be? 🪄

(close your eyes and imagine)

Last week, I had a Facebook live where I revealed my magical tool that boosts my ability to receive help. Do you want to know what it is…VISUALIZATION!

Visualization: The magical tool you can use to boost your ability to receive help. Some of you right now are probably thinking, "that's not what I was hoping to hear. I was hoping to hear that I could snap my fingers, and my husband would do stuff." Sorry, there’s a little more to it.

A visualization is a powerful tool that will help you get the things you want in your life. I also want you to know that you might be telling yourself, "I'm terrible at visualization; I can't do it." But you can do it. I'm going to tell you how I do it.

If I tell you, "don't imagine a red door, don't imagine a golden doodle," you will see those red doors and golden doodles everywhere very quickly. Another way that I learned that we all know how to visualize is if you know how to worry, you know how to visualize. When you worry, you usually see things that you don't want to have happened. That is visualization. It's negative, but it is visualization. So we all have this power. You have to learn to use that power for your good.

How to Visualize
When I started learning how to visualize, I needed a lot of practice. Here's what I would do.

I would pick something, a static image that I could focus on. Eventually, the image was able to grow, and I could see more of what was in the scene. Later, I made it more of a movie in my head, and now I visualize the second I close my eyes. I see exactly what I want almost immediately.

Sidenote: I will say that every now and then, my brain fights me on certain images and tries to insert other images into my visualization that I didn't want.

An Example: I don't know if you've ever seen Happy Gilmore, but he goes to his happy place where his girlfriend is wearing lingerie holding beer pitchers, and his grandma is having a lovely day, and then all of a sudden Shooter McGavin shows up and makes out with his girlfriend, and then makes out with his grandma. It's hilarious.

It is also a good illustration of how sometimes your negative thoughts can creep into your visualizations. It's normal, and you don't have to get upset about it. You can say, okay, that's not the direction I wanted to go in. Let's focus back on what we want here.

Our brains are going to often try anything they can to separate us from what we want because if the thing we want requires change, your brain is just going to be absolutely against it.

Back to How to Visualize
I want you to pick an object. In this case, it might be a good idea to pick something that represents what you want help with. What is an item that represents getting help with this thing? It could be a folded towel; it could be folded and put away laundry; it could be an empty dishwasher that you didn't have to empty yourself. It doesn't have to be chores necessarily; it could be the kids being taken care of, even something nondomestic. Whatever it is you want help with. Then close your eyes and picture it in your mind. I put my hand over my heart and picture that one item. Sometimes, especially at the beginning, all you're going to see is the back of your eyelids.

Remember, you will get better, and it takes practice. Allow yourself to do this in a space that allows some alone time. It could be five minutes where you've locked yourself in a closet, but give yourself some space for this. When you try to visualize while kids are running around, or there's a lot of noise going on, it will be a lot more difficult to visualize. So give yourself some space and time to concentrate.

Focus on that one item and take three deep breaths. Next, bring up feelings for yourself of how you felt in the past when someone spoke your love language to you.

This could be different for different people. If your love language is acts of service (like me) it would be the way you felt when someone did something for you.

So have the picture of your thing in your mind and then add how you felt that time your husband did something that was helpful to you. So picture it, then call in the good feelings. The good feeling might be relief, joy, or excitement; that doesn't really matter so much as long as it's a feeling that resonates with you. Hold on to that feeling for as long as you can. At first, it's probably going to be 30 seconds to a minute. But the more you do it, the longer you can hold on to that feeling. Then, as you get better at it, you're going to start bringing more images in to form more of a scene than visualizing one item.

If you practice visualization, you can skip over picturing the one item, but it's really important to start slow if you've never done this before. It could get overwhelming. Your negative thoughts will come in, and you'll say, I'm terrible at this, I can't do it. Yes, you can.

Visualization is a lot like meditation, except that you are trying to picture something in your mind or something you're trying to focus on.

Pick the item. Focus on it. Bring in those feelings of whatever it would feel like to you when this thing is done and you get help with that you are wanting. Then open your eyes and go about your day and release it. Do this every time this thing comes up, and you think, "I haven't gotten help with this yet." Recall the feelings that you had when you were visualizing.

Say oh, yeah, I already got helped with that thing. It's already done. No, it's not necessarily done in reality, but at an energetic vibrational level, you've already seen it, and you're starting to train your brain. This is what I'm paying attention to. This task being done is what I'm looking at. So this present current reality right here where this pile of laundry is still sitting here, I'm not looking at that. I'm looking at the end result that I want.

You might get to a place where you can fully visualize someone walking into the room and taking care of the thing that you need to have done, namely your spouse. Be open to it being done in other ways. For me, right now, I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to have someone else do some of these chores, and neither one of us has to do it. More on that later.

Please note that in 2022, my live Q&A Thursdays will now be Q&A Tuesdays at 2:30PM PST in my FREE Married & Manifesting Facebook Group. Join today to join the conversation.

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